April 7, 2022
Why should couples go to counseling?
You’ve had a long day at work. Yesterday’s leftovers were tonight’s dinner, and your partner is in the other room watching TV again. You’re disconnected. All the unresolved arguments you’ve had; there’s so much unaddressed and unsettled. But you are exhausted. Earlier, as you made your way through afternoon traffic, the check engine light on your car came on. So that’s something else you’re going to have to deal with tomorrow.
As you put the last dish in the dishwasher, that thought pops back into your head again:
Is this it?
Is this all our relationship is going to be?
You press start on the dishwasher, pour yourself a glass of water, and head upstairs to read in peace.
Why is it that many are so good at addressing some of life’s problems when they first arise, while ignoring others? The dishes get washed so they don’t stink and grow mold. The check engine light on the car comes on, and it’s rushed to a mechanic. But how often, when issues present in relationships, do people either ignore them and hope they’ll go away, or continue down the same destructive path? Why do some couples choose to never seek counseling, and instead lose something that once had such promise – could have grown and flourished – had they decided to enlist guidance from an expert, and sign up for couples counseling at the onset?
Some of the reasons a couple may not consider therapy are:
- The issues present in the form of many small infractions. As isolated occurrences they don’t seem like a lot, but they all add up over time
- The couple no longer communicates – thus they never discuss marriage counseling
- One or both may not fully understand couples counseling, and may feel worried or intimidated about what it entails
- They may already be busy and overwhelmed – and don’t want to add one more thing to their day
- They may see marriage counseling as too expensive, and not do any research to determine if it’s covered by their insurance
- A couple who is not yet married may not realize that counseling is available to them
So why bother? Because doing nothing won’t fix anything…
Unfortunately, so many people put their needs last, and as a result of this, their failed marriage or broken relationship becomes another statistic. Hoping that something will fix itself by ignoring it is never a good solution, and the results are often expensive and catastrophic.
It is estimated that marriage and couples counseling rescues around 75% of relationships, yet according to Dr. Gottman of the Gottman institute, the average couple waits six years – for some, that’s six years of being unhappy – before seeking help from an expert.
Reasons to seek counseling sooner rather than later
One of the many benefits of signing up for couples counseling when problems first arise, and not waiting until it’s your last resort, is you and your partner learn early on how to effectively communicate, how to identify and express your needs and understand theirs. Couples with these skills are happier and better at supporting and understanding one another.
This is a vital component of any relationship, and having these tools early on sets you up for success throughout.
Having a neutral third-party present in the form of a licensed clinician enables couples to resolve their conflicts and navigate painful topics in a caring, structured, neutral, non-judgmental environment. And no matter the outcome, those involved in the therapeutic process gain a deeper understanding of themselves – what their needs are and how they communicate this to others – resulting in a more enriching enjoyable life. Self-care is a term that has been tossed around a lot over the past few years, and for those in a relationship, making sure it is a healthy happy one is a vital component of self-care.
If you would like more information about couples counseling or marriage counseling in Roseville or Fair Oaks, CA, please contact our office. We are happy to provide you with all the help and support you need to get your relationship back – or better – than it was before.
Relationship Therapy Center is a Sacramento area counseling clinic located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA, and we are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. We offer couples counseling, co-parent counseling, divorce counseling, sex therapy, family therapy, couples therapy retreats, and premarital counseling. In addition, we also provide a number of individual counseling services including anxiety treatment, therapy for children, trauma therapy, addiction counseling, co-dependency counseling, depression treatment, and individual relationship counseling. We will discuss the importance of self-care and emotional support to help you cope and to discover ways to find healthy ways of dealing with stress. https://www.therelationshiptherapycenter.com